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REVIEWING THE (UK) CHARTS 2018 Ep. 5
Hmm... How do I say this? You should be honoured by my lateness Uh, thanks, Kanye, but I think that makes me sound a bit too cocky. That I would even show up to this fake sh--'' Alright, you can shut up now, Ye! Anyway, welcome to Reviewing the Charts, where we look at all the antics on the UK Top 40 charts in the past week. Sorry that it’s a bit late this week, but it’s a pretty slow week so believe me when you say you weren’t missing much at all. The most action this week got was in its top ten, which is switching around a lot and no songs are really showing any signs of staying power except the top four, which is exactly the same as last week. Overall, the top 20 has been quite chaotic recently so let’s just dive in. Top 10 *”God’s Plan” by Drake stays at the top of the charts, proving that being ugly and annoying can get you a number-one hit. Yes, that goes for both the song and Drake in general. *”Barking” by Ramz stays at number-two and I somehow have even less interest in it than I did back when it was new, but it has grown on me. *”River” by Eminem featuring Ed Sheeran stays at number-three despite recently dropping out of the US charts. It’s that sheer power and force Ed brings to the charts that is giving Eminem another hit, and that just makes me kind of sad. *”IDGAF” by Dua Lipa stays at number-four and I’m glad, it’s a nice song. *This is where it gets a bit messy. “I Know You” by Craig David featuring Bastille shoots up five spaces to number-five, probably because it was used in an advert I saw on YouTube recently, honestly. I don’t see any other appeal here. *”Tip Toe” by Jason Derulo featuring French Montana subtly goes down a singular space to number-six due to “I Know You” scraping the top five, essentially replacing it. *”Breathe” by Jax Jones featuring Ina Wroldsen is up two spaces to number-seven, probably because it’s basically identical to his other hit. *”This is Me” by Keala Settle and The Greatest Showman Ensemble stays at number-eight for its fifth week in the charts. *”Finesse” by Bruno Mars, remixed by Cardi B, goes down by three spaces to #9, despite being a brilliant song that is probably the best on the charts right now. *Finally, we end with a new top ten entry, “Strangers” by Sigrid, at number-ten, to my dismay. Climbers We had very few major climbers this week, but I suppose it would be important to mention “These Days” by Rudimental featuring Jess Glynne, Macklemore and Dan Caplen went up a whopping 22 spaces to #11, closely followed by Portugal. The Man, who saw a seven-space rise for “Feel it Still” at #13. “For You (Fifty Shades Freed)” by Liam Payne and Rita Ora also rose by six spots to #23, while “Fine Line” by Mabel featuring Not3s is near at #22 after a 10-spot climb. Other minor climbers include “Never be the Same” by Camila Cabello up to #14, “My Lover” by Not3s up to #16, “The Greatest Show” by Hugh Jackman, Keala Settle, Zac Efron, Zendaya and The Greatest Showman Ensemble up to #21, “Him & I” by G-Eazy and Halsey up to #25, and finally, “Sick Boy” by The Chainsmokers up to #36. Fallers There are some massive fallers this week that I did not expect to be that big. “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran drops to #18 – a well-deserved 11-space fall - you’ll hear more about that song next week. “Anywhere” by Rita Ora takes a 17-spot leap down to #29, which I would call fading away if it wasn’t such a large jump. “Diplomatic Immunity” by Drake has also had its streaming power weakened this week, as it goes down 15 spaces to #35. I think I know which one of these singles will be the next “One Dance”, if you know what I mean. Minor falls include “I Miss You” by Clean Bandit featuring Julia Michaels down to #12, “Let You Down” by NF down to #15, and finally, to my punny delight, “17” by MK has taken the steps needed to finally get down to #17. This is an important milestone for the UK charts... well, probably not, but I still love how this happened while I’m still doing this show so we could capture this iconic moment forever. Also “Decline” by RAYE and Mr. Eazi has gone down to #20, “Havana” by Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug to #26, “Bouff Daddy” by J Hus to #27, “rockstar” by Post Malone featuring 21 Savage down to #33, “Let Me Down” by Jorja Smith featuring Stormzy to #39, and “Dimelo” by Rak-Su featuring Naughty Boy and Wyclef Jean has gone down to #40, but who cares when such a legendary event has happened before our very eyes? Some 2017 hits are slowly fading out like “Wolves” by Selena Gomez and Marshmello dropping out from #25 while “Silence” by Marshmello and Khalid drops out from #39. Wow, bad week for Marshemello. What’s also worrying is “Filthy” by Justin Timberlake, dropping out from #38, not because I like the song at all but that album just dropped and “Supplies” didn’t chart so I’m worried about how well this album will perform here in the UK, especially since I personally really enjoyed the album. Ah, well, we’ll mourn for the album next week. Let’s take a peek at our new arrivals. '''NEW ARRIVALS' #36 - "Game Changer" - MIST So, I did not know what I was expecting from this. I’ve never heard of the artist, the song or any albums by MIST, so I had no idea what this would sound like. Was I pleasantly surprised? Well, initially, not really at all, because the intro is literally just a bunch of noise and the demon shrieking, also known as Steel Banglez’ producer tag. The beat isn’t at all nice to listen to, especially since there’s a distorted 8-bit-like synth that does not fit into the G-funk and trap production at all, so you can’t give the excuse that it was supposed to sound like a video game. For MIST himself, well, his rapping voice is quite enthusiastic and his lyricism isn’t bad, but he is nowhere near Tupac, no matter how much he compares himself to him. He also makes comparisons to Nelly, so I doubt MIST really knows who Nelly is or what he does at all. The shrieking synth in the background does start to grate on me after a while as well, it’s pretty aggravating in the bridge when there’s nothing else to cover it. Not even what I’m going to call NES button-pressing is there to help it become any less harmful to the ears. Also, he literally describes his beat as “f***ed” in the outro... I can’t say I disagree with you there, MIST. With better production this could have been really good, honestly. Sorry, but as it is, I’m not a fan. #32 - "Say Something" - Justin Timberlake featuring Chris Stapleton So this is not only Chris Stapleton’s first ever charting song in the UK, but it’s also his first ever hit in the UK. That’s thanks to Justin Timberlake, obviously, but that doesn’t make this song any less awesome. It starts with a blend of Western and tropical synths creating a beautiful intro that leads into a nice acoustic country groove, which Justin rides excellently, especially in the fantastic sing-a-long chorus. Chris Stapleton starts providing his smooth twanged vocals in the post-chorus, but has a heavenly harmonious moment in the second verse, which is downright beautiful. His harmony with Justin in the second chorus is also really nice, and just makes up for what is overall a relatively bland but incredibly pleasant experience. It’s not something I’d always listen to – it’s one of the worst tracks off of Man of the Woods – but I’m glad this charted. Congratulations, Stapleton, for having your first charting song being an amazing country pop jam, with a smooth-as-silk outro where the Western synths return and end with Chris and Justin chanting “nothing” over ambient sounds. I recommend this, especially if you like some good country music... I didn’t think I could ever possibly type that until now, but I think I’ve found a great time to first say it. This is a brilliant song. #31 - "Walk It Talk It" - Migos featuring Drake So, Drake’s back, to my dismay, but now he has the energetic trap trio of Migos to back him up from this cut on their 24-track album Culture II so this must be somewhat interesting and exciting, right? Nope! Of course, it isn’t! Barely anything on this album is interesting, with “Walk It Talk It” being no exception. It’s trap by-the-numbers with a mind-numbing chorus from Quavo, shouting the hook as if he was a robot manufactured to say it. Quavo is also strangely specific in his verse about the girl who “bought a new ass but got the same boobs”, but throughout his verse he actually has a few funny lines about banks having scoliosis, as does Drake with his Google Maps line. Both are silly but funny enough to me to forgive. What I won’t forgive is Drake stating he wouldn’t beef with any wack rappers, completely forgetting his beef with Meek Mill a few years ago. Thankfully, Offset renegades with a river stream of a flow in his verse that contains the phrase “chicken teriyaki”, because of course it does. Takeoff isn’t bad on here either but sadly, his verse is too short to really shine. This is just dreadfully boring, unless you have your ears open for the funnier lines. Bleh! Conclusion Overall, this was a slow, uninteresting and overall snore-inducing week, with songs that could easily replace any of your sleeping medication. I suppose Worst of the Week is going to MIST for “Game Changer” but Best of the Week is obviously going to Justin Timberlake with “Say Something” featuring Justin Timberlake. Hopefully, next week, we’ll see more from the Justin Timberlake and MGMT albums – they’re both pretty big here – but as we’ve learnt by now, I can’t predict for squat so see ya! Category:2018 Category:Songs Category:Lyrics Category:Music Category:Mrs Chanandler Bong Category:Reviewing the Charts